As the hours of the night slowly wither away, I toss and turn. My thoughts running a mile a minute. I have had no sugar, no caffeine, nothing that could explain this wide awake feeling my brain is sensing. My body is tired and wants to relax and sleep, dream away the first world problems I’m facing. There’s nothing that’s troubling me enough that it should keep me up at night, I am comfy and safe in my own space, I have my adorable monkeyboy by my side, loving people in my life and a fantastic derby family.
So what’s really keeping me awake?
Is it that I can’t seem to break my habit of loving everybody too deeply and getting annoyed by their behavior that doesn’t match their words?
Reflection of my own behavior?
Is it that I feel like I’ve hit a plateau on my skates and can’t move past that point?
I might never be the great skater I thought I would be.
Is it that I want to fall in love but can’t be bothered with the inner workings of a stuffy monogamous relationship?
Love relationships are hard work for a lazy ass like me.
Is it that I’m always worried about my finances and not being able to make it to the end of the month?
End of work looming in the near future, not helping.
Is it that I’m concerned with the ice caps melting and flooding a few of my favorite cities?
I think humans are fucking up this beautiful planet for greed.
Is it that I think I’ve failed my child in so many ways and don’t know how to rectify the situation?
It might not be too late yet, my parenting isn’t done.
Is it that I still need therapy but don’t have the money to go see my shrink?
WordPress is cheaper, it’ll do for now.