Monday as I drove back to the YYC, I was graced with a spectacular light show. The universe reminded me what beauty is, reminded me what love is, love for simple moments, love for nature, love for my surroundings.
As the sun was slowly fading to the west, the grey metal coloured sky to the east was contrasting with the yellow canola fields and green pastures. It moved me and I choked back tears, I was so emo at the show that nature was displaying.
I’ve made no secret of my feelings towards Alberta, since my move here in 2004, I’ve viewed Alberta through a skewed lens, most days, to say the least. I’ve never quite enjoyed the flatness of the prairies and although the mountains are majestic, they’re not the kind of thrills I seek.
So what’s happened to me, that I’ve started to like some of the views? What has changed in me to make me open my eyes to a new perspective of this part of the world?
My last cross-country road trip to Montréal last summer is partly responsible for this change, the roller derby community is also partly bearing the weight of this shift in me. Finding someone special, admitting it and embracing it is also helping me see what I dismissed in the past thirteen years.
Why would Saskatchewan and Manitoba be pretty to my eyes and not Alberta? Those two prairie provinces have always been exciting and I’ve enjoyed making stops there to discover places as I make my way eastbound.
I love fields, colourful and vast, yellow canola, purple flax, green corn, all giving visual pleasure to anyone looking for beauty in agricultural grid.
Last August, on the drive back from La Belle Province, we made a pit stop in Ontario to swim in Dixie Lake, it’s gorgeous there, peaceful, the water is perfect to cool down after a long time spent in the car sweating the Ontario heat. After a bite to eat we decided to keep going and made it to Manitoba, slept in the car in a truck stop along the Transcan, when I woke up the next morning there was a buzz in my belly, an excitement I hadn’t felt before and I knew what it was but couldn’t articulate the words to express the feelings. Has we drove on towards Alberta, I felt it even more, felt it more present in me, the feeling of being content with coming home, even now as I write these words, it sounds strange to me but it is what it is. I still want to move and live elsewhere but the reasons of this want, of this desire are very different and they are not based on unhappiness at being here, I just have a nomadic streak that needs to be fulfilled, I’m a gypsy, I need to roam and ramble on .
And so, this is where I am now, pleasantly surprised by the feelings I am finally able to express freely because I saw a stormy cloud, a pretty field and a rainbow. I guess sometimes it doesn’t have to be complicated to have a change of heart, just open your mind, let love be your guide, forgive yourself for being negative and reactive, leave the baggage where it belongs, in the past, it only weighs you down in the present.